Over the years, we’ve seen public awareness of domestic abuse grow. What was once hidden behind closed doors is finally being exposed for what it is: a deeply damaging, society-wide problem.
As domestic abuse is dragged out into the light, the many forms of abuse have become clearer. We see victims, including children, experiencing physical, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse. Their lives are overshadowed by coercive control. We also see the tactics of post-separation abuse, including stalking, used against survivors who have left the relationship.
“Everybody loved my ex – my family, my friends. He was such a lovely person in public but at home it was very different. When I tried to tell people what he was like you could see they didn’t believe me. Someone even said to me it must be something that I did to make him behave that way.”
Public awareness matters. It helps dismantle misconceptions and reduces stigma surrounding domestic abuse. We especially want the public to understand:
- Domestic abuse is common. Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse. Children can be victims in their own right. Domestic abuse can start or increase during pregnancy.
- Abusers rarely look like monsters. They often seem normal and can even be charming, polite, well-liked, and respected in their communities. Abuse is always the fault of the abuser, not the abused.
- It’s too easy to believe you’d do differently. Victims and survivors deserve support, not judgment. Coercive control is powerful and insidious. Leaving an abusive relationship can be incredibly challenging. Post-separation abuse is also common. Making a safety plan is important.
- Healthy and unhealthy relationships. As a society, we should be promoting healthy relationship dynamics in our culture. These dynamics shape what our children carry into adulthood. Everyone deserves to feel supported, respected, trusted and have freedom of choice. This includes when a relationship ends. For example, continuing unwanted contact or monitoring an ex-partner is unacceptable behaviour.
- Support is available from a range of organisations; visit the Bedfordshire Domestic Abuse Partnership.
“The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone even if you feel it. It is so easy to feel isolated and alone when you have been through this. There is help out there, good people who can help you get out safely and stay safe.”